The Shocking Conclusion to My First Day at School

I was a bit confused as my co-teacher told me that is was time for lunch because she didn't have a packed lunch either. Ha! I figured I would be able to divert the attention toward my lunchless co-teacher if I were asked about only having an energy bar. She informed me that the school doesn't have a cafeteria and so the students all eat in classrooms or in the hall (just like my high school). She led me to the teachers' lounge which may have been where all the school's funds for the cafeteria went. Well, not really, but it does have a heated floor which is perhaps the greatest invention in the history of mankind with exception to the can opener. Everyone takes off their shoes when they enter and they usually smile at me for being silly and wearing shoes with laces. However, on that first day, I had the biggest smile because during the shoe lace struggle a ray of hope hit the corner of my eyes. Laying on a table was a ravishing assortment of food in metal tins. I followed my co-teacher's lead and piled generous amounts of strange and exotic food onto my tray. I was not going to disappoint my new co-workers.

Disappoint? Definitely not. Like Albus Dumbledore with his elder wand, I worked magic with those chopsticks. The other teachers were amazed that I could use them so proficiently. I told them that my mother taught me when I was younger. They were very surprised when I told them that she is American.

I spent the rest of the day in the teachers' office. It's a large room with groups of desks clustered together. I looked through the old lesson plans of the last native English teacher and noted how they followed the text quite strictly. During this time, other teachers came by and introduced themselves and told me their names which I would repeat in a butchered manner and then forget too quickly.

Towards the end of the day my co-teacher came over and told me that we have a staff meeting every first Monday of the month, and that it was my lucky day because we were going to have one in the next hour and I needed to give a speech. I didn't really mind. If my time in political science classes in college taught me anything, it was how to make something up quickly that sounds good and convincing without wasting time looking up facts or using logic. I was never that great in those classes, however, and I said something that I actually meant, that even though I am a teacher, I feel like I am just as much a student of the country and the culture, and that I'll do my best at both positions. My speech won me a seat in the comfy brown chairs we have in the middle of the teachers' office for the rest of the meeting. There was a lot of talk about things I didn't understand, but people seemed like they were in a good mood. Then one of the teachers got up and started speaking. The room was quiet before, but it seemed to get quieter as the man spoke. I looked around at other teachers and they were all looking down and seemed concerned. The principal responded to the man and then the man responded back and I could tell they were arguing about something. My co-teacher came over to me and escorted me back upstairs to my classroom during the middle of it, which was disappointing. I wanted to see what happened, but instead the conclusion was left to my imagination. They had a dance battle to decide who was right.

The school day always ends for me at 4:30 pm. I walked home on that first day, relieved that I didn't have to pack my own lunch. I don't remember what I did when I got back to my apartment. I probably took off my tie immediately because those things are a nuisance to wear unless it's a clip-on one. After that, I probably sat down and wished I had the internet so I could be making this post sooner for all of my loyal fans.

The end.

My First Day at School

I somehow survived the weekend before my first day of school by gathering the wild berries near my apartment. I learned quickly that the blue ones are A-OK, but that the red ones should be avoided unless you're on a diet. I also was able to jury-rig a small bow using a tree branch and some twine I found in a cupboard. I used pens and pencils that were left in the apartment for arrows. I was unsuccessful at shooting any small game as my arrows were going a bit cattywampus. I also lost or broke all of my arrows and had no method of taking notes for some time.

Actually, I made french toast because I had bought some eggs and fluffy white bread. French toast has become the cornerstone of my meals during the week, but that may change now that I used all the syrup that was left here. That first weekend, I didn't have an internet connection nor did I have the correct plug to power my laptop. Almost as bad as that was the fact that I didn't know how to get hot water. Those cold showers weren't too bad because they reminded me of what being a volunteer in the Peace Corps would have been like if I had chosen that route.

On Monday morning, my Korean co-teacher picked me up and took me to the school. The first thing I did was meet the principal who talked to me for a long time about things that I don't remember. The other teachers later told me that he is quite loquacious and they often don't pay attention either. In hindsight, I was already fitting in with my fellow teachers quite well.

The students were in awe seeing me and stared at me like I was some sort of foreign being. I was shown my classroom and spent a lot of time looking around and figuring out what was there and how things worked. During this time, the students would burst into the room during their breaks between classes and introduce themselves. I learned quickly that middle school students, much like any other children, have only one volume, which is permanently set at loud. They would yell out, "Hello! Handsome boy! I love you!" I tried to communicate with them, but that was mainly returned with blank stares or looks mixed with fear and reverence. I now know the anguish that our greatest American export, celebrities, endure.

My biggest fear that day was that I was going to have to teach when I had no lesson plan. I had read on websites how native English teachers were simply tossed into a room and told to teach as soon as they arrived at their schools. Fortunately, I came to a school that had already had one previous foreign teacher that year. She had left after a week and I think this might have caused the administration to let me ease into my position. I didn't have to teach any classes for the whole first week and I could simply use the time for planning lessons. However, my anxiety had not completely dissolved because lunch time was drawing near. At the time, I had not thought of bringing in my french toast and impressing the other teachers with my fine culinary skills. All I had was a single energy bar. I was afraid the teachers would be disappointed in me for not being the stereotypical American that eats and eats and eats. I was going to have to make a run for it. I could stealthily exit the building by climbing through some sort of ventilation system like in my favorite movies. My plan was foiled as my co-teacher snapped me out of my daydream like the teacher in Calvin and Hobbes. She told me it was time for lunch...

First Post!

I can't believe that I've already been here for almost three weeks. I guess that time isn't excluded from everything else that also moves so fast in Korea. The teachers at my school taught me the Korean words 빨 리 빨 리 (Palri Palri), which means "hurry up," and is a common phrase here. I asked them how I could say, "relax," and they weren't sure what that meant so they just taught me how to say, "slow" in Korean. I'm trying to adapt to the culture as best as I can, but I think I might skip out on the hurry up frame of mind.

What has happened in the last three weeks? It started out with a flight over the Pacific Ocean that lasted for 13 or 14 hours. Even though my airfare was reimbursed, I bought the cheapest ticket there was simply because it had the shortest flight. Oddly enough, it was probably the fanciest flight I have ever been on. There were widescreen LCD screens on the back of every seat that had on demand movies, TV shows and games that you could use for free. The service was called "KrisWorld" which I figured was a good omen for starting my year here.



I was able to stay up for the entire flight and arrived at my apartment at 10 pm Korean time. After being awake for almost 24 hours straight, I slept easily and when I woke up I wasn't jet lagged at all.

My apartment is actually a lot nicer than I was expecting. Space in Korea seems rather limited as there are all sorts of huge high rise apartments amidst farmland. However, my apartment is two bedrooms with a living room and a kitchen as well. I definitely have more space than I know what to do with, which is a welcomed change from my previous abode that was a cupboard underneath some stairs. The previous tenant left some useful items that I didn't bring such as bed sheets, umbrellas and cleaning supplies and it was like an exciting treasure hunt as I searched for these enchanting goodies. I then did a really good job of making the place seem like my past homes by failing to pick up after myself and scattering useless things everywhere. My mother would be proud of how far I've come! I've also put some pictures up of the ladyfriend, friends, and family, to remind me of how lucky I am. Here is a picture of the place when I originally came:



Now here it is with my delicate touch:



I'm sure that all of my loyal readers have had trouble sleeping at night without some confidence that I'm not living in an icy gulag or even worse, a college dormitory, but I assure you that my living conditions are quite good. Here is further proof of the matter:




I rest my case.